Monday, January 26, 2009
STOMP!!!
Cmooooooooooon man, seriously show a little class bruh! I mean you KNOW you are on national tv.....you KNOW there's cameras all around, this isn't some high school game in Toledo.
You can't just go around stompin on peoples faces like you're Rick James. (FU*K YO FACE!!!!!) I hope they kick this dude outta school for that!
Friday, January 16, 2009
HOT SONG ALERT!
This is a crazy Afro / funk jazz track by an Israeli artist called Kutiman feat. Karolina. The track is called "Music is ruling my world", I'd love to have a house party and put this on full blast and dance the night way....
(And I just decided to, everybody's invited!!) lol
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
SAYYYYYYYY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!?!?!
It's time for a SAYYYYYYYYY WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!?!?!? moment...
YES...You heard right. Bragging about the size of his daughters stool on national TV!!
This guy is one sick fuck. I bet he stands outside of the bathroom anxiously waiting with a tape measure and a digital camera every time his daughter drops a deuce...
"I think you've outdone yourself today honey, this one's going on the refrigerator!!"
YES...You heard right. Bragging about the size of his daughters stool on national TV!!
This guy is one sick fuck. I bet he stands outside of the bathroom anxiously waiting with a tape measure and a digital camera every time his daughter drops a deuce...
"I think you've outdone yourself today honey, this one's going on the refrigerator!!"
Tuesday, January 13, 2009
ARTIST YOU SHOULD KNOW!!
This is a segment dedicated to showing some love to talented artist,bands and musicians who tend to be overlooked by the general public.
This week's spotlight belongs to Canada's K-os. This guy doesn't really fit in any box, he combines old school hip hop,rock,reggae,disco, and soul effortlessly. He also writes and produces pretty much all of the music.
IF I HAD TO compare him to anyone I would say he is like a mix between Andre 3000, Will.I.Am, and Q tip, but he really can't be compared to anyone.
He has so many INCREDIBLE songs so it's hard to decide which one to post here, but I decided on Sunday Morning because it's an upbeat track that captures the essence of K-Os. In March of 2009, K-Os is scheduled to drop his newest album entitled "Yes!", so now is a great time to get on board!..Enjoy..
Sunday Morning - k-os
Monday, January 12, 2009
WEDDING @ TACO BELL?!?!?!
Customers inside the fast-food restaurant continued to order tacos and burritos as the couple sat Friday in an orange booth at Taco Bell and exchanged vows.
"It's appropriate," groom Paul Brooks said. "It's an offbeat relationship."
Employees displayed hot sauce packets labeled with the words "Will you marry me?" They decorated the restaurant with streamers and balloons.
The bride wore a $15 hot pink dress and the entire wedding cost about $200. Several dozen guests looked on as the couple's friend, Ryan Green of Normal, administered the vows while wearing a T-shirt. He was ordained online.
"This is the way to go — there's no stress," said the groom's mother, Kathy Brooks.
Caragh Brooks, 21, of Australia, met Paul Brooks, 30, on an Internet dating Web site. They already had the same last name.
The couple wrote back and forth and talked on the phone for nine months before Caragh Brooks moved to the United States.
"We have the same brain, just in two bodies," Paul Brooks said. "We think alike in virtually every manner. We have the same interests, viewpoints."
He proposed on New Year's Eve and, because they like to spend time at the local Taco Bell, they decided to wed there.
"I would never have expected in my life in working here there would be a wedding," restaurant manager Carl Hamlow said.
WOW...I love taco bell so I had to post this. I don't love the place as much as these two though, They are really taking things to the extreme. Have these people ever heard of getting married at a place called City hall?! If this is where they got married, I don't wanna know where they're planning on honeymooning.
P.S..IF this article makes you hungry for taco bell, and you happen to eat there on your lunch break..refer to the how to poop at work guide.
"It's appropriate," groom Paul Brooks said. "It's an offbeat relationship."
Employees displayed hot sauce packets labeled with the words "Will you marry me?" They decorated the restaurant with streamers and balloons.
The bride wore a $15 hot pink dress and the entire wedding cost about $200. Several dozen guests looked on as the couple's friend, Ryan Green of Normal, administered the vows while wearing a T-shirt. He was ordained online.
"This is the way to go — there's no stress," said the groom's mother, Kathy Brooks.
Caragh Brooks, 21, of Australia, met Paul Brooks, 30, on an Internet dating Web site. They already had the same last name.
The couple wrote back and forth and talked on the phone for nine months before Caragh Brooks moved to the United States.
"We have the same brain, just in two bodies," Paul Brooks said. "We think alike in virtually every manner. We have the same interests, viewpoints."
He proposed on New Year's Eve and, because they like to spend time at the local Taco Bell, they decided to wed there.
"I would never have expected in my life in working here there would be a wedding," restaurant manager Carl Hamlow said.
WOW...I love taco bell so I had to post this. I don't love the place as much as these two though, They are really taking things to the extreme. Have these people ever heard of getting married at a place called City hall?! If this is where they got married, I don't wanna know where they're planning on honeymooning.
P.S..IF this article makes you hungry for taco bell, and you happen to eat there on your lunch break..refer to the how to poop at work guide.
Saturday, January 10, 2009
HOW TO POOP AT WORK! (must read for one and all!)
How to Poop at Work
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
ESCAPEE- Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK- (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE)Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH - Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER -Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
FLY BY Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
LMAO...this is the funniest thing I have ever read ..because IF you work in an office, you are familar with at LEAST one of the definitions given in this guide.
I personally have used the "Astaire" move to deter Turd Burglars many-a-time,
If you have used any of the moves please feel free to post which ones!
Until next time , watch out for those Uncle Teds out there!!
- Doc Brown
We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brew down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise, the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at work. Memorize these definitions and pooping at work will become a pure pleasure.
ESCAPEE- Definition: a fart that slips out while taking a leak at the urinal or forcing a poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave of panic embarrassment. This is similar to the hot flash you receive when passing an unseen police car and speeding. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not hear it. No one likes an escapee, it is uncomfortable for all involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel uneasy.
JAILBREAK- (Used in conjunction with ESCAPEE)Definition: When forcing poop, several farts slip out at a machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the stall until everyone has left the bathroom so to spare everyone the awkwardness of what just occurred.
COURTESY FLUSH - Definition: The act of flushing the toilet the instant the nose cone of the poop log hits the water and the poop is whisked away to an undisclosed location. This reduces the amount of air time the poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.
WALK OF SHAME Definition: Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As with all farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.
OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER -Definition: A colleague who poops at work and damn proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.
THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (PFN)Definition: A group of coworkers who band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.
SAFE HAVENS Definition: A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.
TURD BURGLAR Definition: A pooper who does not realize that you are in the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking a dump at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable eye contact.
CAMO-COUGH Definition: A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars. Very effective when used in conjunction with an ASTAIRE.
ASTAIRE Definition: A subtle toe-tap that is used to alert potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear an Astaire, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper can poop in peace.
WATERMELON Definition: A turd that creates a loud splash when hitting the toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If you feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion. See CAMO-COUGH.
HAVANA OMELET Definition: A load of diarrhea that creates a series of loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an Escapee. Try using a Camo-Cough with an Astaire.
UNCLE TED Definition: A bathroom user who seems to linger around forever. Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the mirror or sitting on the pot. An Uncle Ted makes it difficult to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to drop your load when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as the other bathroom attendees.
FLY BY Definition: The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping. Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you constantly going into the bathroom.
LMAO...this is the funniest thing I have ever read ..because IF you work in an office, you are familar with at LEAST one of the definitions given in this guide.
I personally have used the "Astaire" move to deter Turd Burglars many-a-time,
If you have used any of the moves please feel free to post which ones!
Until next time , watch out for those Uncle Teds out there!!
- Doc Brown
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